My dick works.

After some non-scientific research I've found that this has kept me from becoming sterile. Thank you Specialized.

I am very bored.

My knee got ravaged this week at work, so I've been doing a whole lot of fucking nothing. My sleep schedule is so jacked it's on the verge of turning into insomnia, I could be drinking to aid in the return of a normal amount of nightly sleep, but I've been scared of bleeding out of my knee hole, well except for the other night. What can I say liquid courage got to me before the concern of infection and open wounds did.
I'm starting to count the days that are left in this loft. I'm bummed and excited at the same time for it to all be over, hopefully we can incur a ten thousand dollar debt before it's said and done. Expect one hell of a demolition party when we're the fuck outta hear. Details will come.
This is now my 27th hour of a milkshake craving. I don't know what the problem is but my timing is shit when it comes to Mr. Softee and his route of sugar and destruction.
Hey look at that I blogged.

Speaking of things that are lame:

As much as I hate to repost this image and further perpetuate its existence on the internet, doing so is necessary to illustrate my frustration. The original or perhaps just other planned cover for the first issue of this new "fixed" mag was completely relevant and interesting but I guess it's been dismissed in favor of this more offensive and less universally enjoyed photo. I'm not much for participating on the internet but in the comments on Tracko you can see I could hardly help myself. It's really encouraging to get some validation, especially considering the comments that came before mine, but it's unfortunate that my comment also prompted this direct response from user CrittRawk:

"Please. Just because there's a naked girl on the cover means it's mysoginistic trash? She's got an incredible body, and was probably paid well for the shot- besides that it's a beautiful image, and by no means was it meant to disregard women. Unfortunately, charming lads such as the ones leaving comments are turning it into something seedy a la "I'm going to bury my Tongue in that light." Dudes, get off the net and meet some real girls, and girls, don't let your personal insecurities deprive you of what is content wise and artistically probably a really good magazine- I've read cream and it's on point- stop being such prudes and sleazebags, meet eachother in the middle and welcome to the good life!

How do I get a subscription!? "

Just because I'm a jerk, let me begin by pointing out that this person wouldn't know misogyny if it sucked his dick and I'm basing that first of all on the fact that he misspelled it. It's really amazing to me that marginalization and exploitation is easily dismissed by the fact that someone was "probably paid well." Well, thank you for reminding me that I am indeed worth as much as someone will pay for me. Why is it that I am unable to critique the cover of this magazine without admitting some amount of "insecurity"? Why must I hate my own body to ever have an issue with something like this? Please, I hardly think I'll be "deprived" of what is probably "content wise and artistically" a "really good magazine" since the cover makes it clear that they're not interested in a female audience anyway. What spectacular article could possibly be behind that cover that will redeem the offense taken at first glance? I'll keep my ear to the streets.

If the image wasn't meant to disregard women, then it was definitely made in the interest of men. There's a reason why things are put on the cover of a magazine. It is completely absurd to say that things only become "seedy" or offensive once people respond to them as such; the readers are not the creators of these images and placing blame is irrelevant. It comes down to a sad cyclical nature of things where exploitation is commonplace and the public is more than accepting of it. If this photo was meant only to be beautiful and artistic, than why is it not of a man? Is the nude male figure not as elegant as the female's? Is it impossible to see any one other than a woman in a photo such as this? In either case, it is not about equal exploitation, it is about creating images a community can respond to. It's also not about the fact that I am heterosexual and am not sexually provoked or convinced by a nude photograph of a woman, it's about the fact that I see one in a context such as this and am alienated and marginalized.

The point is, as a female, I'm definitely a minority as far as riding bikes goes and even more so when you're talking about the "track bike scene". Riding bikes is a boys club, at least in my experience. I have been lucky enough to know and associate with some really strong, talented and dedicated ladies but it's the truth that they're few and far between. As if it isn't hard enough to walk into a bike shop and be taken seriously, there's the added element of garbage like this being shoved in my face. I even remember in an edition of COG magazine an advertisement featuring a Japanese adult film star dressed in a bikini standing over a bike being the backside of the first page of an article about all girl alleycats. How is it possible to literally in the same breath disrespect and then commend women? It makes no sense. For a scene that's supposed to be so fucking progressive, young and open-minded, it's really disappointing to continue to see the same patriarchal bullshit perpetuated on the pages of a magazine.

If the "good life" is a life where I can rationalize the sexualization and objectification of my gender and let the boys have their fun, I'd prefer to be a bummer.

This town isn't what it used to be

I just saw a pair of shop lifters getting cuffed and escorted out of American Apparel by the ever curious NYPD. I guess the days of going in to AA to pick free clothes are over. Dwain will be bummed.

Is Eva at work right now?

Who knows? Her schedule is more mysterious to me then a Rohloff.

Anyway i have no more time to explore this blog post further as I must go pick up a package to be delivered at a later time and there fore must leave the air conditioned comfort of the apple store.

So everyone at 632 has the same ass width.

It's true. Apparently we all ride a saddle that is 143 mm wide.

In other news, we finally got our hands on a copy of Macaframa so expect the shit talking to commence shortly.

Did I mention that Dwain and I got second place team at Rocky 7? Yeah, it was a good time.

I wish my computer worked so i didn't have to blog from various Apple store locations around Manhattan while on stand by. Yeah, it's that slow...

Ok, I would just like to add an extra special fuck you to the person that stole my fender yesterday while it was pouring cats and dogs outside.

Tomorrow...

So, I drew this flyer for the NACCC pre-event alleycat Dan's throwing. Unfortunately it's a little shaky because my post-surgery/injured hand is simultaneously my dominant one. Anyway, free beer and it's starting on the late side to accomodate those who work Friday and are coming in from out of town. Registration is in McGolrick park on Nassau in Greenpoint.

BFF

Empire cast sighting!

"Is it love?"

The Weekend

This is what Dwain looks like when he's blogging:


This is what Dwain looks like the rest of the time:

This is the day we celebrate our independance...

This is the day we celebrate our independence, by showing our dependence on alcohol, fireworks, and meat products. America is beautiful. For breakfast I had a double cheeseburger, french fries, and a chocolate milk shake. I plan on eating at least 6 more beef patties today. If I eat any less I'll feel like I'm not being a very good American.

I cut all my hair off and shaved my beard. The beard was just too much to deal with in the heat of the outdoors. I guess I'm not a very good outdoors man if I can't handle having a beard.

On another note, I've recently gotten into facebook. It's much more addictive than myspace. It's as if myspace is cocaine, and facebook is pure china white.

Charlie is going to have to get a brother soon, maybe a sister.

LATERS!

Bitchpaw Personified

I just helped buzz Dwain's hair, which is awesome, because I have been waiting for him to decide it was time for a haircut for a few weeks now. Dan's fucking next.

In other news, this video is fucking awesome:

Karl Poynter rollback - brighton ain't ready from Czerwin on Vimeo.

Also, I finally got surgery on my wrist. After five months of bullshit and physical therapy, my orthopedic surgeon decided it might be time to get serious. My bitch cartilage was torn up, so they trimmed the shredded part off. I'm healin'. The only bummer is the scars won't be so cool and I can't ride my bike. I gotta get serious about makin' Dan tune-up the tandem so my menz can take me out on it.

How to lose road races.

The current time is 1:17am.
I have to be up in three hours and forty three minutes.
Fuck racing.

Times Eva got wasted:

Perfect.

Riding bikes and listening to metal...

I recomend Carcass(pre 1994), Buried Inside(Chronoclast), Black Ships (Omens).

This weekend has been pretty awesome so far and sometimes I even take a good photo or two.

Its hot outside.

When the weather gets warm in New York City people get cranky.
Receptionists are cranky because its nice out.
Couriers are cranky because its slow, because its nice out.
Hipsters are always cranky.
Shit even John Prolly is cranky (read all about it here).
Poor guy just cant get a break. But as I have told Dwain many times... Life is hard.

In other news Eva is in New Jersey and could not for the life of her pick up her phone so I could tell her about something that only she would be able appreciate.

Summer '09

I really wish that I could stream Hot 97 online. Does anyone else even listen to the radio? I guiltily enjoy listening but I guess it goes without saying that most music on Hot 97 is garbage anyway.

It was 80 degrees today. For this, I am thankful. Unfortunately the enjoyable weather has all sort of unfortunate consequences (rampant bike theft, more wasted jerks out late at night, etc.), but it's so worth it.

Tupac has no style.

Rest Days...

are the best days.

Unless your watching the Giro on TV in witch case all you get is a two hour long block of highlights from yesterdays stage with more commercials thrown in.

As a courier there are two types of rest days. Voluntary and involuntary. The first are generally weekends and days you take off to do things other then deal with other peoples shit all day. The second are sick days and days when there is simply no work. Today was one of those days.

This is how you make Napalm. Simply get some gasoline pour it in a bucket and add styrofoam. Keep adding and mixing until whatever it is your mixing starts to coagulate into a white viscous globule. Have fun.

Fail

The camping trip definitely didn't go as planned.

Back to the grind.

I hate roadies

We have been having California weather here in NYC witch probably means that as soon as Eva gets back from California it will rain for a week straight.

I was going to rant about roadies but i changed my mind. It would just frustrate me more.

Ok back to watching the Giro.

I hate my job

I've been having more fun than usual. Once this summer gets around to starting, I hope I make some real regrettable decisions. The camping trip this weekend better set things off.

Wondering

Why isn't it nice out yet?

Gone for the weekend.

I'm going back to Canada this weekend.

I suppose that's about all I have to say about things right now.

The new state of things:

Psych! Charlie still hates me. It appears the only changes have occured in my amount of hair and pain in my wrist.

UNFUCKINGDEAD

I miss Decatur. Dwain, Charlie and I are holding it down but there is no spice out here quite like the Jamaican restaurant we used to live above.

Missing

Has anyone seen this blog? It sucks. You know why? Because I'm the only one that writes in it.

I dont even know.